Life...and cards.

If there’s one thing I got from my father, it’s the ability to survive. He’s been through more shit than anyone I know, most of it self induced, and he always comes out smelling like roses. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve lived two or three lifetimes, starting over in each. In reality, it’s a life change, and I take something from each one.

The last 3 months started with the worst “life run” I’ve ever had. Well, maybe not the worst, but it’ll give any I can think of a run for their money. I don’t share a lot, and I don’t want to be a complainer, but I do want to put things in context. I got stiffed on a rather large bill through my business, which came out of my pocket. I withdrew a large chunk of my bankroll (about 60%), which covered most of it, and I’m still paying the rest. It’s been a huge source of stress. To make it worse, I can’t go after the company, because the order came from a job my brother was doing, hence no PO. I always cover my ass, and I didn’t because it was family, and it really bit me. I should have known better.

With a greatly reduced bankroll, I didn’t move down in limits and basically lost it all. Man that burns just reading it. I couldn’t bring myself to reload. I just couldn’t justify the investment, and I didn’t want to do it. I’m too proud. I’m proud to a fault. I transferred $20 from the GF’s account, and started over. Sit-n-go’s, then .5/1. Then back to SnG’s, then .5/1, then 1/2. I even lost my gold star status on Stars. It struck me as funny that with all that was going on, that bothered me so much. It’s fair to say the last few months have been an exercise in humility. A big one.

In November I gave myself the first poker paycheck since August. It felt good. I’m still playing SnG’s, 1/2, and the occasional shot at 2/4. It’s so tough playing the lower limits. Not because of the money, but because of my stupid pride.

During this period, I also stopped visiting forums (except for one), stopped reading on the game, stopped doing things that I’ve done for the last 3 years. Wow, it’s been that long. Almost 3 years. Along with the cards and chips, time flies. Sorry, I drifted away there.
New years is too far away. I’ve given myself a few goals for years end, and I’m setting stronger goals this year. I was too conservative this year. I met and exceeded my goals, and it isn’t enough. I want more, and I’ll get it.

Oh, and I got my sill gold star back. Screw you life, I'm a survivor.